Build Your Legacy In Midlife With Holiday Traditions
Growing up in the 70’, 80’s, and 90’s was quite an adventure. My dad went to work everyday and my mom did the far harder job. She stayed at home to raise me and my brothers. She kept the workings of our house organized. I was blessed to be raised by a mom who absolutely loves life. She taught me and my brothers how to live boldly, have fun in all things, not take ourselves too seriously, and make the most of every moment. I’m certain that one of her core values is whimsy. And while no childhood is picture perfect, I can surely say that I look back on my childhood with the fondest of memories. When my brothers and I gather together now with our kids, much of the laughter and reminiscing revolves around all the crazy things our mother got us into when we were growing up.
It should come as no surprise to you then, that my mother was big on the holidays and on creating family traditions. When Christmas came around, it took her a solid week to put up all the decorations, and I’m pretty sure there wasn’t a hall in the house that wasn’t decked or a window without a wreath. We were sort of like the Griswold’s…
At the start of every holiday season, we took a family trip to Wilkinson’s Nursery to get a live tree for our family room. Each year, that tree got bigger. I still crack up thinking about how pissed my dad would be on New Years Day trying to lug that tree out of the house. And, we had cookies galore. We’re an Italian family, so I guess it comes with the territory. True to form, my mother made the best variety of cookies. We had chocolate chip, thumb print, cream cheese, peanut butter, and hershey bud cookies. Dozens upon dozens of cookies. Yes, you guessed it, every Christmas eve we left a plate full of cookies for Santa with a carrot for Rudolph.
In my opinion, there’s only one thing better than Christmas cookies and that’s homemade pasta. I still can’t believe my mother made her own pasta for Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. A few years back, we made homemade pasta together at my house for Thanksgiving. That only lasted one year. There are limits to my love for holiday traditions, and that my friends, was way too much tedious work and stress for me! God bless my mother, she’s a better woman than me.
Speaking of Christmas Eve, oh the parties we had, with easily 50-75 friends and family in attendance. My parents were also known for inviting people from our small town who either were alone on the holiday or couldn’t afford to do anything. Once a local man named Joey showed up in a t-shirt that said “I got crabs in Ocean City”. My brothers and I had a lot of fun with that one, but I digress.
One particular holiday season, when I was about 12 years old, we were visiting an elderly second aunt on Thanksgiving. Me, my brothers, and my cousins were quite bored, so to pass the time, I wrote a Christmas Play. At the end of the night, I showed the finished script to my mom. You’ll never guess what she did…Well, maybe you will…
She decided to produce the play. Every Saturday morning for two hours throughout December, we had play practice with me, my brothers, and all my cousins. She even made costumes. That Christmas Eve we performed the Christmas Play for everyone at the party, and at the end we had a sing along with our grandparents to Elmo and Patsy’s “Grandma Got Run Over by A Reindeer” of course. It’s something I will never ever forget. As we got older, those Christmas Eve parties got really fun (and even a little rowdy), complete with dancing and sometimes karaoke. They grew bigger and bigger each year. As the party dwindled down late into the night, and all of our guest went home, we gathered around the tree as a family and opened two presents from our parent before going to bed. One was something we asked for, the other was matching Christmas pajamas for everyone. As an added bonus, my grandmothers spent the night every year, so we got to spend Christmas morning opening our gifts and show casing our presents to them. To say the holidays were enchanted in our house may actually be an understatement. And this was due primarily to all the traditions my mother built and the fun she achieved in our house. Her joy for life was and is infectious!
Yes, those traditions were a lot of work for my mother. Yes, she was sometimes stressed because of it. But the memories we have with friends and family are so precious. If you asked her, I’m sure she’d say it was all worth it. Now every time the holiday season begins, I am overcome with nostalgia. My mother has left an imprint of love on our hearts, a permanent tattoo of the beauty and wonder of childhood and holiday magic. I’ve tried to take after my mother, and have carried on a lot of those traditions with my kids. Plus, we’ve created some of our own. My mother has truly left a beautiful legacy for us. She’s accomplished what most mothers are striving for in midlife.
In my own midlife, with my kids grown up, two of them prepping to leave home, the days look a lot different. But one thing that doesn’t change is the traditions we have during the holidays. They keep us steady. They are forced family fun- (even with teenagers who are always so busy with their own social engagements). The traditions we have with our kids keep us together. They form a strong bond that cannot be broken by the passage of time or the aging process. Our traditions foster fun, laughter, and youthfulness. And, they are the best memory makers. The older I get, the more I value our traditions. I also love reminiscing about past years of traditions with my kids. Plus, I hope that as they grow up and start their own families, they’ll first want to carry on these traditions with their own kids and second want to come home to continue the traditions with me and my husband. Family traditions are the ties that bind us.
See, in midlife, something funny happens. We realize that our time here is finite. We start to contemplate how short life really is. We care less about things like presents and more about memory making and leaving a legacy. Family traditions are one fabulous way to start a legacy that will be remembered for a lifetime and beyond. It’s never too late to get started. In fact, midlife is the perfect time for reinventing, reimagining, and trying something new. So, I’ve listed some of our favorite family traditions below. Feel free to adopt them for your own family, or use them as inspiration to come up with your own.
· Make a Christmas ornament craft at the dinner table together after the Thanksgiving meal. Have a tree already up with lights only. That night, after the ornaments are finished, decorate the tree with them and the ornaments you made from past years
· Make a huge pot of turkey noodle soup with the leftover turkey. On Thanksgiving night, eat soup and watch a Christmas movie together. Our Favorite is Elf
· Matching Christmas PJ’s for everyone on Christmas Eve (nobody’s too old for this). This year, I’m starting a new tradition. I bought matching Christmas PJ’s for everyone (including my parents and father in law) to wear on Thanksgiving while we watch our movie and eat soup!
· Have a turkey bowl on Thanksgiving Day. This is a game of flag football in the back yard. Oh, the fun we had last year making fun of my mother with the ball!
· Have a Christmas Eve dance off to Christmas Music. Everybody picks their own song and after each person dances, vote to determine whose dance was best. I may or may not have peed my pants one year watching my father-in-law dance!
· Bake all the Christmas cookies together- sugar cookies and ginger bread are especially fun.
· Plan a holiday outing together and have a dinner out afterwards. We’ve done everything from Christmas musicals, to a John Legend Holiday concert, to light displays, to outdoor ice skating in the city. This year I tried to convince everyone to see “Twas the Night Before” Cirque De Soleil, but alas, the teens weren’t having it. So, we’re doing a drive thru light display at Gillette Stadium instead
· Buy each child an ornament that has something special to do with that year. Make sure they each have an ornament box with their name on it to store the ornaments in. Then, when they start their own family, they’ll have a box of ornaments to use on their tree. My mother-in-law started this with my kids when they were babies. We now have a special tree in our house that’s only decorated with those ornaments.
When it comes to family holiday traditions, don’t be afraid to think outside the box. Now is the time to let loose a little and have some fun. I’m certain your family will look back with fondness and laughter! Part of living our best midlife is showing up as our most joyful selves and making each day count. I’m absolutely certain that when we get to the end of our life, we won’t be thinking about the countless presents we opened. Instead, we’ll be thinking about the people we love, the memories we made together, and the traditions we created. From the very bottom of my heart, may this year be your Merriest Holiday Season to date, filled with traditions, love, laughter, and joy. Be present. Enjoy every moment. Have fun and be childlike. Now is the time to build your beautiful legacy.