Midlife Looks Different Today Than It Did 40 Years Ago
Do you remember watching The Golden Girls when you were growing up? It was one of my favorite shows. I absolutely loved Dorothy, Blanche, Sophia, and of course Rose, with all their hilarity and crazy antics. Do you realize that, Rue McClanahan, the actress that played Blanche Devereaux was only in her 50’s during the filming of The Golden Girls? On the other hand, today we have women like Jennifer Lopez (who recently turned 50) rocking out at the Super Bowl halftime show. To say the face of life after 40 and 50 is changing is an understatement. And I believe shows like the Golden Girls paved the way. They taught us to think outside the box. Showing us that it was ok to rethink the second phase of life. Telling us that girlfriends are important and you’re never too old to have fun, laughter, spontaneity, and romance! We grew up learning that we don’t have to grow old in a muumuu on the couch sucking on a Werther’s Original. We don’t have to be in the kitchen baking all day for the family. It’s a far cry from Mama’s Family.
And with that came an upgrade to our style- the clothing and shoes we deem appropriate to wear. Our choice of hair style can be anything we want it to be. Long. Short. Dyed blond. Silver. Heck, even pink if that’s your thing. And, the way we age is changing too. With new technology like laser treatments, micro-needling, and injections, we can slow the aging process of our skin if we so choose. A better understanding of the human body has led to improved workouts and exercise techniques. Plus, we have so many more choices when it comes to healthy eating and supplements. Dare I say that this is the best time ever to be a woman in midlife, especially as the world takes a closer look at equality and women empowerment.
But…why is there always a but…
We’re still our own worst enemy. We’re still fighting amongst each other. We’re still looking down at women who don’t look, act or dress like us. And, in my opinion, this is a travesty. At this age, we should finally be free to lose the high school drama and to be who we want to be without feeling the need to apologize for it. And we should be well past putting down on other women because they choose to live life differently than us. If you want to get Botox injections, I say go for it, more power to you. If you want to age naturally and take pride in your beautiful 50 year old face and maybe even gorgeous gray hair, Yes! I commend you. If you’re working out hard and feel great when you wear clothes that are youthful or form fitting, then do it. If you want a less active lifestyle and prefer relaxed-fit, weekend wear, girl, I am here for it! You do you! Our differences are what make us special. And they should be celebrated.
This brings to mind a conversation I had with 2 perfectly kind people that just happened to be sitting next to me and my family at the resort pool while on vacation in St. Petersburg. They were hard core football fans and we got on the topic of Tom Brady. Love him or hate him, Tom seems to bring up big emotions for people. The wife next to us said, “well, you can’t really look at Tom Brady as an example of a stellar football player at the age he is, because he took a deal with the devil.” I was off put and asked her what she meant by that comment. She followed with, “look at him, he’s in amazing shape, he looks youthful, and he’s still a talented quarterback even at his age.” Nobody can do that. Tom’s got good genes and a lot of good luck. Fate is smiling down on him.
“GAH!” Was my response.
Listen, Tom Brady works harder on and off the field than any player I know. He trains differently. He watches everything he eats. He researches. And, he takes plenty of supplements. Sure, he may have good genes, but his life choices, dedication, and persistence in healthy living are what make him the person and athlete he is. He’s committed to his wellness life style and healthy habits. His hard work and self-control are what make him stand out. And, anyone of us can choose healthy habits and a wellness lifestyle.
The health habits we adopt and lifestyle we choose have a major impact on the way we age. Tom Brady is proof. Everything we do today- the food we eat, how we move our body, how we manage our stress, the thoughts we think- all of it determines what our health and life will look like 10, 20, even 40 years down the road. Plus, we’re so fortunate to have more tools, more techniques, research, and information about health and well-being at our finger tips than ever before. There are no excuses for not pursuing a healthier, more vibrant way of aging. Anyone can do it. And now is the time.
Listen, if you want to age conventionally, if you want to take a more traditional approach to midlife, if that’s what makes you happy, by all means, you do you. I am here for all women living life after 40 and 50 exactly how they want to and in a way that makes them the happiest. But, please don’t be like the woman at the pool in St. Petersburg. Don’t make excuses for yourself. Don’t blame luck and bad genes. And, certainly don’t put down on women who choose to age differently than you.
Life is too short for us to be unkind to each other. We’ve come too far as women to continue to tear each other down. Let’s stop pointing fingers. Let’s watch our words. And, let’s be more accepting of each other and the various ways we choose to age.